Why you should wait to date!

For as long as I can remember, I’ve dreamed of a love story straight out of a fairy tale. Ever since I watched Tangled at the tender age of 12, I’ve held onto this hope. Through the hormonal rollercoaster of my teenage years, the confusion of young adulthood, and even the “I hate my life” phase of transitioning to adulthood, the dream stayed alive.

Fast forward 13 years, and guess what? Turns out, I wasn’t as delusional as people said I was.

No, I haven’t found my happily ever after, but I’ve found my happily for now. And after a year and a half, I truly believe this could be it. Meanwhile, the same people who mocked my fairy-tale aspirations are now out on their own expeditions to find love. The tables have turned, and in all of this, I’ve discovered something crucial—something that makes all the difference between finding true love and finding someone to love, only to spend a lifetime fighting to keep that love alive.

In high school, I was probably the only girl in my circle without a love interest. Did I feel left out? Of course. FOMO is real. But looking back, I’m so glad I didn’t jump into a relationship just to fit in.

I remember one of my friends had what seemed like a dream relationship. She was stunning, smart, and kind—completely out of her boyfriend’s league, but they seemed happy. We all thought, Well, at least she’s got someone. Then came the twist: within six months, he dumped her for her friend. The kicker? He had only dated her to get close to her friend, the girl he actually fancied.

Most people might shrug this off as “typical high school drama.” But here’s the thing: these early relationships have a profound impact on how we approach love as adults. They shape how we respond to conflict, how we communicate in times of doubt, and even how secure we feel in future relationships. When someone experiences betrayal or heartbreak in their formative years, it leaves scars that can take years to heal.

The High School Trap: Why Dating Just to Date Doesn’t Work

Here’s what I learned: if you want your fairy-tale love story, don’t date to fit in. Don’t date to “test the waters.” And, most importantly, don’t date someone just because they like or love you. What you want and need in a partner matters most.

People might call you stuck up for having a checklist, but hold onto it as if your life depends on it. And no, I don’t mean superficial traits like “tall,” “handsome,” or “rich.” I’m talking about the core, non-negotiable qualities that define how someone treats you and how your relationship will grow.

The Key to Finding True Love: Your Checklist

Your checklist should reflect what truly matters to you. For me, it’s about:

Consistency: I need someone who follows through on their words with actions.

Communication: A relationship without open and honest dialogue is doomed to fail.

Emotional Availability: I want a partner who’s willing to share and process their feelings with me.

Of course, there are things you can compromise on—maybe they don’t love the same music as you, or they’re not a morning person. But there are a few sacred, non-negotiable traits that should never be compromised. Respect for yourself and your needs means holding out for someone who ticks those boxes.

The Non-Negotiables: What Your Checklist Should Include

Here’s the thing: when you respect yourself enough to wait for the right person, you get your fairy tale. It might not look like the movies, but it’ll feel just as magical. On the flip side, if you settle for less—if you chase love out of fear or impatience—you risk ending up in what I call the “chase-your-bugs-with-a-spider-web” situation. Either you’re constantly chasing something that doesn’t last, or you get trapped in the wrong relationship altogether.

My high school friend didn’t have a checklist. At that age, maybe she was too young to think about what really mattered. But even back then, I had one decree: respect. It was non-negotiable for me, even if I didn’t yet understand how nuanced love could be. And that decree saved me from countless pitfalls.

The Fairy Tale Dream vs. The Spider Web Trap

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that your fairy tale doesn’t start when you meet the right person. It starts when you decide you’re worth the wait. It starts with knowing what you need, standing firm in those needs, and not settling for anything less.

So, to anyone out there still holding onto their dream of true love: don’t let the world mock or criticize you into letting it go. Build your checklist, stay true to yourself, and remember—you’re not asking for too much. You’re asking for what you deserve

Happily Ever After Starts with You

Here’s to finding your “happily ever after”—or, at the very least, your “happily for now.”